I just want to share a comparative list with you, to illustrate a sort of revelation that I had yesterday. I was sitting in Ike’s — this cute little local Tucson coffee shop thing — attempting to slam through a bunch of readings that I should have finished the night before, when out of nowhere, just BAM, the unfairness of life smacked me right in the face. Within ten minutes, I went from calm and happy and chugging some iced chai to a crazy person on the verge of some sort of pain-related emotional breakdown, with a bowl of hot oatmeal desperately sitting on her stomach. Why? Half of you probably have already guessed, and the other half of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Here is a diagram to prove it:

“Normal”

I’m not missing anything, am I? I mean, I don’t consider myself a feminist, more of a humanist if you’re gonna make me put a label on there, but seriously yesterday I was on the warpath. The guy who checked me out at Walgreens was in some serious danger, and he didn’t even know. Also, did you guys know they make Midol in this scary extra strength package? I don’t know what NSAID is; all I know is that before I took it I was about ready to like shave my head and go man-hunting with a machete or something, and afterwards I just wanted some chocolate and maybe a foot-rub. Drugs are awesome.