How does that dang song go, the one you’re now going to have in your head all day?

So apparently I made all these promises and now I have to keep them. One of those promises was that I would do a giveaway, so here I am. Fulfilling my promise. One less thing to feel guilty about in the coming months. And it’s not like I didn’t have fun with this one, because here’s what I did. I spent four and a half hours in my local used bookstore scouring the shelves. A lot of the books I went in to look for specifically* were, no surprise, not there, but I did end up coming away with seven of my favorite books, which I will now proceed to give away to you.

*Did you know that it is almost impossible to keep Kurt Vonnegut novels in stock, for instance? This is what I was told when I went looking for The Sirens of Titan. So, sucks for you all that I didn’t find that one. Also, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And basically any Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

So here’s how this is going to work. I’m giving the books away in packages. If you want to sign up for a specific package, email me which one you are interested in and I will put your name into a drawing. Winners will  be chosen with one of those random internet generator thingies, so I promise: no favoritism.** If you don’t care which package you win, you can enter your name in The Grab Bag package, details below. The packages are as follows:

**Yeah, I’m talking to you.

PACKAGE #1 — Gone With the Wind: This book is approximately a billion pages long, so it is a package all in itself. This is one of my all-time favorite books, and I’m of the extremely sound belief that every American needs to read this at least once in their lives.

PACKAGE #2 — Mad Fairy Tales: As pictured above, the winner of this package will receive a copy of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride (which I just re-read, so not only do you have my assurances that it is 100% awesome, you also get the book as my leftovers, and doesn’t that just make you so happy?) plus one other thing. I tried SO HARD YOU GUYS to find a copy of Stardust, but it just wasn’t happening, but as this book was kind of the inspiration for this whole giveaway, and because it fits PERFECTLY in with TPB, I am determined to find it. So: you will also be getting Stardust (I’m not sure yet if this will be a copy of the original illustrated text, or the re-worked novel, but either way, this is happening).

PACKAGE #3 — Those Lovely Brits: At first I was going to give away Pride & Prejudice, but then I thought, no! Poor Persuasion, so lovely and wonderful, deserved it a little more. PLUS, the themes and story fit in so well with my other choice, The Remains of the Day (both being about people who fucked up in love the first go-round, you see). This package is perfect for people who like to have their emotions punched in the face.

PACKAGE #4 — I am Five Years Old: You people with kids might like this one, but honestly? Fuck the kids. Get these for yourself. I read kid stuff all the time, and I have read all three of these books sometime in the past three years. All three are still awesome. The Witches by Roald Dahl, Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, and Inkheart by Cornelia Funke (for older kids, maybe even YA), are all storyteller books. They’re the kind of books you want to read curled up by a fire with hot cocoa, where dragons are real, and magic is terrifying and wonderful.

PACKAGE #5 — The Grab Bag: If you sign up for the grab bag, your name will be entered in all four drawings. If you choose this option and win a package, yay for you. BUT. If you happen to win more than one package, your win comes secondary. People who sign up for specific packages will get top priority for those packages, and you will get whichever one is left. Capiche?

Here are some things to keep in mind: 1) All the packages will come with some sort of baked goods, haven’t decided what yet; 2) It would be cool if you would tell everyone you’ve ever met about this giveaway, because as you know, I am a giant internet whore (but not a sellout! you will notice how I don’t have ads and am very poor); and 3) Don’t leave your entries in the comments, please remember to email me: narfna at gmail dot com.

GO.

UPDATE: Deadline to enter the giveaway is 4/24.