[Note: The original version of this list and the note that precedes it was written in the summer of 2008. I no longer work at a hotel, and the number of television shows featured has expanded significantly.]

This is what happens when you work four nights in a row as a hotel operator for a four-diamond hotel in its off-season. I have to be there in case the phone rings but it, in fact, does not ever do so. I believe it has currently been an hour and ten minutes since I last answered the phone. Instead, I visit every single website on the internet, and when I’m finished with the internet, I read, but if I get bored with that, I make lists. Like this one. The mother of all lists. This is even worse than the time I typed up the first sentence of every one of my books and those times I alphabetized my DVD and book collections. This is also worse than the fact that I regularly update all three of those lists. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Are you really, really sure? Okay, here* goes.

Currently In the Middle Of

Breaking Bad, 2008-Present
Cheers, 1982-1993
Dawson’s Creek, 1998-2003
Friday Night Lights, 2006-2011
Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit, 1999-Present
Sex and the City, 1998-2004
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1993-1999

Shows That I’ve Seen Every Episode And That Are Still On the Air ***

Arrow, 2012-Present
The Big Bang Theory, 2007-Present
Bob’s Burgers, 2011-Present
Bones, 2005-Present
Bunheads, 2012-Present
Call the Midwife, 2012-Present
Castle, 2009-Present
Community, 2009-Present
Continuum, 2013-Present
Cougar Town, 2009-Present
Doctor Who, 2005-Present
Downton Abbey, 2011-Present
Futurama, 1999-2003/2008-Present
Game of Thrones, 2011-Present
Glee, 2009-Present
Go On, 2012-Present
Law & Order: UK, 2009-Present
The Legend of Korra, 2012-Present
Longmire, 2012-Present
Lost Girl, 2010-Present
Mad Men, 2007-Present
Melissa & Joey, 2010-Present
The Mindy Project, 2012-Present
Modern Family, 2009-Present
Monday Mornings, 2013-Present
New Girl, 2011-Present
The New Normal, 2012-Present
The Office (US), 2005-Present
Once Upon a Time, 2011-Present
Orphan Black, 2013-Present
Parks and Recreation, 2009-Present
Revolution, 2012-Present
Scandal, 2012-Present
Sherlock, 2010-Present
Suburgatory, 2011-Present
Suits, 2011-Present
Torchwood, 2006-Present
Veep, 2012-Present
Warehouse 13, 2009-Present
White Collar, 2009-Present
Whitney, 2011-Present

Shows That I Have Quit Watching and Will Eventually Have to Catch Up On
The Good Wife, 2009-Present
Grey’s Anatomy, 2005-Present
Grimm, 2011-Present
House, 2004-2012
How I Met Your Mother, 2005-Present
Justified, 2010-Present
Pretty Little Liars, 2010-Present
Raising Hope, 2010-Present
Revenge, 2011-Present
Sanctuary, 2008-2012
Smallville, 2001-2011
V, 2009-2011
The Walking Dead, 2010-Present

Shows That are Off the Air of Which I’ve Seen Every Single Episode**

30 Rock, 2006-2013
Alcatraz, 2012
Alias, 2001-2006
Angel, 1999-2004
Animal Practice, 2012
Arrested Development, 2003-2006, 2013
Avatar: The Last Airbender, 2005-2008
Babylon 5, 1993-1998
Battlestar Galactica, 2003-2009
Ben and Kate, 2012-2013
Better Off Ted, 2009-2010
Bewitched, 1964-1972
Boy Meets World, 1994-2000
Brotherly Love, 1995-1997
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 1997-2003
Caprica, 2009-2011
Caroline in the City, 1995-1999
Chuck, 2007-2012
Cult, 2013
Cupid, 2009
Diagnosis Murder, 1993-2001
Dollhouse, 2009-2010
Don’t Trust the B— in Apt. 23, 2012-2013
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, 1993-1998
Drive, 2007
Ed, 2000-2004
Empty Nest, 1988-1995
Eureka, 2006-2012
Family Matters, 1989-1999
Farscape, 1999-2004
Felicity, 1998-2002
The Finder, 2012
Firefly, 2002
Flipper, 1964-1967
Freaks and Geeks, 1999-2000
Friends, 1994-2004
Fringe, 2008-2013
Full House, 1986-1995
Gilligan’s Island, 1964-1967
Gilmore Girls, 2000-2007
The Golden Girls, 1985-1992
Growing Pains, 1985-1992
Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper, 1992-1997
Home Improvement, 1991-1999
Huge, 2010
Last Resort, 2012-2013
Life on Mars (US), 2008-2009
Life Unexpected, 2010-2011
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, 1993-1997
Lost, 2004-2010
Matlock, 1986-1995
The Nanny, 1993-1999
New Amsterdam, 2008
October Road, 2007
The Office (UK), 2001-2003
Party Down, 2009-2010
The Pretender, 1996-2001
Prime Suspect (US), 2011
Pushing Daisies, 2007-2008
Ringer, 2011-2012
Scrubs, 2001-2009
The Secret Circle, 2011-2012
Secret Diary of a Call Girl, 2008-2011
Spartacus, 2010-2013
Stargate SG-1, 1997-2007
Stargate Atlantis, 2004-2009
Stargate Universe, 2009-2011
Star Trek: The Original Series, 1966-1969
Star Trek: The Animated Series, 1973-1974
Star Trek: The Next Generation, 1987-1994
Step By Step, 1991-1998
Terra Nova, 2011
Undeclared, 2001-2002
Veronica Mars, 2004-2007
Wings, 1990-1997
The X-Files, 1993-2002

Shows That I’ve Seen Anywhere From Only One Episode to All Episodes But One, and For A Variety of Reasons, and Can I Make This Title Any Longer

2 Broke Girls, 2011-Present (watched the first season then gave up on it)
24, 2001-2010 (saw first four episode of Season Eight)
90210, 2008-Present (the pilot . . . boring as shit)
3rd Rock From the Sun, 1996-2001 (saw several episodes in syndication)
7th Heaven, 1996-2007 (saw all but the last two seasons)
8 Simple Rules, 2002-2005 (saw one episode)
Accidentally on Purpose, 2009-Present (saw the pilot)
According to Jim, 2001-2008 (seen a couple episodes)
The Addams Family, 1964-1966 (seen a couple in syndication)
The Adventures of Pete & Pete, 1993-1996 (seen a couple episodes)
ALF, 1986-1990 (seen a couple episodes)
Aliens in America, 2007-2008 (saw first two episodes)
All in the Family, 1971-1979 (seen several episodes in syndication)
Ally McBeal, 1997-2002 (saw one episode)
The Andy Griffith Show, 1960-1968 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Awake, 2012 (watched the Pilot)
The Babysitter’s Club, 1990-1993 (saw a couple in syndication)
Back To You, 2007-2008 (saw the Pilot)
Baywatch, 1989-2001 (seen a good number in syndication)
Beauty and the Beast, 1987-1990 (watched first three episodes)
Beavis and Butthead, 1993-1997 (saw one episode, was appalled)
Becker, 1998-2004 (saw a couple episodes)
The Bernie Mac Show, 2001-2006 (saw a couple episodes)
Bette, 2000-2001 (saw the Pilot)
The Beverly Hillbillies, 1962-1971 (seen two episodes in syndication)
Beverly Hills, 90210, 1990-2000 (seen a couple in syndication)
Bionic Woman, 2007 (saw the first five episodes)
Birds of Prey, 2002 (saw the Pilot)
Bonanza, 1959-1973 (seen a couple)
Boston Public, 2000-2004 (watched most of the first season)
The Brady Bunch, 1969-1974 (seen a good number in syndication)
California Dreams, 1992-1997 (seen most during Saturday morning reruns)
Canterbury’s Law, 2008 (watched one episode)
The Cape, 2011-Present (watched the Pilot)
Charles in Charge, 1984-1990 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Charlie’s Angels, 1976-1981 (seen a couple in syndication)
Charmed, 1998-2006 (seen a couple horrible episodes)
Cheers, 1982-1993 (seen a couple in syndication)
Christy, 1994-1995 (saw about half)
Clueless, 1996-1999 (seen a good number)
Cold Case, 2003-Present (seen various in syndication)
The Cosby Show, 1984-1992 (seen a good number in syndication)
Crossing Jordan, 2001-2007 (saw a couple)
Crusoe, 2008 (saw first two episodes)
CSI, 2000-Present (seen a couple)
Cybill, 1995-1998 (seen a couple in syndication)
Dark Angel, 2000-2002 (watched the Pilot)
Dave’s World, 1993-1997 (saw most episodes)
The Dead Zone, 2002-2007 (saw one episode)
Designing Women, 1986-1993 (saw most episodes)
Dharma & Greg, 1997-2002 (saw most episodes)
The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1961-1966 (seen a couple in syndication)
Dilbert, 1999-2000 (saw two episodes)
Doogie Howser, M.D., 1989-1993 (seen first season and one episode from the fourth season)
The Drew Carey Show, 1995-2004 (seen most episodes — Cleveland Rocks)
Due South, 1994-1999 (seen a couple in syndication)
Early Edition, 1996-2000 (saw a couple episodes)
Eastwick, 2009 (saw the Pilot)
Eli Stone, 2008-2009 (saw the Pilot)
Ellen, 1994-1998 (seen a couple)
ER, 1994-2009 (haven’t watched 2004-2009)
Even Stevens, 2000-2003 (seen about half)
Evening Shade, 1990-1994 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Everwood, 2002-2006 (watched the first couple seasons)
Everybody Loves Raymond, 1996-2005 (seen a good majority)
Extras, 2005-2007 (seen one episode and snippets from others)
The Facts of Life, 1979-1988 (seen a good few in syndication)
Family Guy, 1999-Present (seen a couple plus the Star Wars one)
The Father Dowling Mysteries, 1987-1991 (seen a good amount in syndication)
Fired Up, 1997-1998 (watched a good number after Caroline in the City)
Flash Forward, 1997 (probably seen all but a couple)
FlashForward, 2009-Present (saw the Pilot)
Frasier, 1993-2004 (seen a good number in reruns)
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 1990-1996 (seen a good amount in syndication)
George Lopez, 2002-2007 (saw a couple episodes)
Girls, 2012-Present (saw the Pilot)
The Good Guys, 2010 (watched the first half of the first season)
Good Morning, Miami, 2002-2003 (watched the Pilot)
Gossip Girl, 2007-Present (Stopped halfway through Season 3)
Grace Under Fire, 1993-1998 (seen a bunch)
Happy Days, 1974-1984 (seen almost all of them)
Happy Town, 2010-Present (watched the pilot)
Harry and the Hendersons, 1991-1993 (saw an episode here and there)
Haven, 2010-Present (watched the pilot, and if it sticks around I’ll catch up)
Hawaii Five-O, 1968-1980 (seen a couple in syndication)
Hawaii Five-0, 2010-Present (watched the Pilot)
Hellcats, 2010-Present (watched the Pilot)
Hell on Wheels, 2011-Present (watched the first two episodes)
Heroes, 2006-Present (watched the first two seasons)
Hey Dude, 1989-1991 (seen a couple episodes)
Hill Street Blues, 1981-1987 (seen a couple in syndication)
Homicide: Life on the Street, 1993-1999 (seen a couple in syndication)
The Hughleys, 1998-2002 (seen a couple episodes)
Human Target, 2010-Present (seen the Pilot and half of episode two)
I Dream of Jeannie, 1965-1970 (seen a bunch in syndication)
I Love Lucy, 1951-1957 (seen most of them)
In the Heat of the Night, 1988-1995 (seen a couple in syndication)
In Treatment, 2008-Present (seen one episode)
It’s Like, You Know…, 1999-2000 (watched the Pilot)
Jack & Jill, 1999-2001 (watched the Pilot)
JAG, 1995-2005 (saw a couple episodes)
Jake in Progress, 2005-2006 (watched the Pilot)
The Jeff Foxworthy Show, 1995-1997 (saw a couple episodes)
The Jeffersons, 1975-1985 (saw a couple in syndication)
Joanie Loves Chachie, 1982-1983 (saw one episode)
Joey, 2005-2007 (watched the Pilot . . . atrocious)
Judging Amy, 1999-2005 (saw a couple in syndication)
Just Shoot Me, 1997-2003 (seen a majority)
Kenan & Kel, 1995-2000 (seen a good majority)
The King of Queens, 1998-2007 (seen several in syndication)
The Killing, 2011-Present (saw the first season and the first two eps of season two, got bored)
King of the Hill, 1997-2009 (saw one episode)
Kristin, 2001 (watched the Pilot)
Louie, 2009-Present (a couple episodes here and there)
The L Word, 2004-2009 (watched the Pilot)
Land of the Lost, 1991-1992 (seen most episodes)
Lassie, 1954-1973 (seen a shitload in syndication)
Las Vegas, 2003-2008 (saw one episode)
Laverne & Shirley, 1976-1983 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Law and Order, 1990-Present (seen a couple episodes in syndication)
Leave it to Beaver, 1957-1963 (seen a couple)
Life Goes On, 1989-1993 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Life With Bonnie, 2002-2004 (saw a couple episodes)
Little House on the Prairie, 1974-1983 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Lizzie McGuire, 2001-2004 (seen a couple episodes)
Mad About You, 1992-1999 (seen a majority)
Malcolm in the Middle, 2000-2006 (seen some in syndication)
Mama’s Family, 1983-1990 (seen most of them in syndication)
Married…With Children, 1987-1997 (seen a couple in syndication)
The Mary Tyler Moore Show, 1970-1977 (seen a couple episodes)
M*A*S*H, 1972-1983 (seen a couple episodes)
MacGyver, 1985-1992 (seen a couple)
Magnum, P.I., 1980-1988 (seen a couple in syndication)
Melissa and Joey, 2010-Present (saw the pilot)
Melrose Place, 1992-1999 (seen a couple)
Men In Trees, 2006-2008 (watched the Pilot)
Mercy, 2009-Present (watched the Pilot)
Miss Guided, 2008 (watched the Pilot)
Monty Python’s Flying Circus, 1969-1974 (seen a couple episodes)
Moonlight, 2007-2008 (watched the Pilot)
Monk, 2002-Present (seen one episode)
Murder, She Wrote, 1984-1996 (seen most in syndication)
The Muppet Show, 1976-1981 (seen a couple)
Murphy Brown, 1988-1998 (seen a couple episodes)
My Big Fat Greek Life, 2003 (watched the Pilot)
My Name is Earl, 2005-2009 (seen a couple episodes)
Nashville, 2012-Present (watched first three episodes, got bored)
NCIS, 2003-Present (seen one episode, because Claudia Black guest starred in it)
Ned and Stacey, 1995-1997 (watched the Pilot)
Newhart, 1982-1990 (saw one episode)
The New Lassie, 1989-1992 (seen most of them)
NewsRadio, 1995-1999 (seen most of the episodes)
Night Court, 1984-1992 (seen one episode)
Norm, 1999-2001 (seen a majority of the episodes)
NYPD Blue, 1993-2005 (seen one episode)
Off the Map, 2011 (saw the pilot)
Once and Again, 1999-2002 (watched the first two seasons)
One Tree Hill, 2003-Present (seen an episode or two from a couple seasons)
Outcasts, 2010 (saw the pilot)
Pan Am, 2011-Present (watched first three episodes)
Parenthood, 2010-Present (watched first three episodes)
Party of Five, 1994-2000 (seen a couple of episodes)
Perfect Couples, 2011-Present (watched the pilot . . . awful)
Perfect Strangers, 1986-1993 (seen a vast majority — BALKI)
Perry Mason, 1957-1966 (seen a bunch in syndication)
The Practice, 1997-2004 (watched the first five seasons)
Private Practice, 2007-Present (gave up after Addison got with Sam)
Privileged, 2008-2009 (seen two episodes)
Punky Brewster, 1984-1986 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Quantum Leap, 1989-1993 (seen one episode)
Reba, 2001-2007 (seen several episodes)
Related, 2005-2006 (watched the Pilot)
Revenge, 2011-Present (watched the Pilot)
Rhoda, 1974-1978 (saw one episode)
Robot Chicken, 2005-Present (seen two episodes including STAR WARS)
Roseanne, 1988-1997 (seen a bunch in syndication)
Sabrina: The Teenage Witch, 1996-2003 (seen all of the first three seasons, spotty the rest)
Salute Your Shorts, 1991-1992 (seen several episodes)
Samantha Who?, 2007-2009 (watched first five episodes)
Saved By the Bell, 1989-2003 (seen a couple episodes)
The Secret World of Alex Mack, 1994-1998 (seen several episodes)
Seinfeld, 1989-1998 (seen several episodes)
The Simpsons, 1989-Present (seen some in syndication)
Sister, Sister, 1994-1999 (probably seen all of them)
Smallville, 2001-Present (watched the first four and a half seasons)
Smash, 2012-2013 (watched the first season)
Son of the Beach, 2000-2002 (saw a couple episodes, unfortunately)
South Park, 1997-Present (seen a bunch of episodes)
Spin City, 1996-2002 (seen most of the episodes)
Stark Raving Mad, 1999-2000 (saw almost all of them)
The Starter Wife, 2007-Present (seen one episode)
Star Trek: Enterprise, 2001-2005 (seen several episodes)
Star Trek: Voyager, 1995-2001 (seen two episodes)
Suddenly Susan, 1996-2000 (saw a vast majority)
Sweet Valley High, 1994-1997 (saw a couple episodes)
Taxi, 1978-1983 (seen a couple in syndication)
Teen Angel, 1997-1998 (sadly, seen probably all of them)
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 2008-2009 (seen first season)
That 70′s Show, 1998-2006 (seen a couple in syndication)
That’s So Raven, 2003-2007 (seen one episode)
Third Watch, 1999-2005 (saw a couple episodes)
Three’s Company, 1977-1984 (seen a bunch in syndication)
The Torkelsons, 1991-1993 (seen probably all of them)
Touched By an Angel, 1993-2003 (saw all of the first couple seasons)
The Twilight Zone, 1959-1964 (seen a couple episodes)
Two and a Half Men, 2003-Present (seen one episode)
Two Guys and a Girl, 1998-2001 (probably seen all of them)
Ugly Betty, 2006-Present (watched first four episodes)
Unhappily Ever After, 1995-1999 (seen several in syndication)
Up All Night, 2011-2013 (watched several eps mid-season one, got bored)
Veronica’s Closet, 1994-2000 (seen a couple episodes)
Walker, Texas Ranger, 1994-2001 (seen a couple episodes)
The Waltons, 1972-1981 (seen several in syndication)
The West Wing, 1999-2006 (seen two episodes)
What I Like About You, 2002-2006 (seen a couple episodes)
Who’s the Boss, 1984-1992 (seen a good majority)
Wilfred, 2011-Present (Watched the first seven episodes)
Will & Grace, 1998-2006 (seen a good number of episodes)
The Wire, 2002-2008 (watched the Pilot)
The Wonder Years, 1988-1993 (seen most episodes)
Yes, Dear, 2000-2006 (seen a couple episodes)
Xena: Warrior Princess, 1995-2001 (seen a couple episodes)
Zero Hour, 2013-Present (watched the pilot)

Shows on My Netflix Queue To Be Watched at a Future Unspecified Date

3rd Rock From the Sun, 1996-2001
The 4400, 2004-2007
21 Jump Street, 1987-1991
Alien Nation, 1989-1990
Andromeda, 2000-2005
Battlestar Galactica, 1978-1980
Blackadder, 1983-1989
Blake’s 7, 1978-1981
Being Human (US), 2010-Present
Beverly Hills, 90210, 1990-2000
Big Love, 2006-Present
Burn Notice, 2007-Present
The Chicago Code, 2011
The Closer, 2005-Present
Coupling, 2000-2004
Damages, 2007-Present
Dead Like Me, 2003-2004
The Dead Zone, 2002-2007
Dexter, 2006-Present
Drop Dead Diva, 2009-Present
The Dresden Files, 2007
Entourage, 2004-Present
Extras, 2005-2007
Family Guy, 1999-Present
Forever Knight, 1992-1996
Frasier, 1993-2004
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, 1990-1996
Highlander, 1992-1998
The Inbetweeners, 2008-Present
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 2005-Present
Kitchen Confidential, 2005
Kyle XY, 2006-2009
Legend of the Seeker, 2008-2010
The Larry Sanders Show, 1992-1998
Lie to Me, 2009-Present
The Lone Gunmen, 2001
M*A*S*H, 1972-1983
The Middleman, 1998
Monk, 2002-Present
Nip/Tuck, 2003-Present
Northern Exposure, 1990-1995
Numb3rs, 2005-Present
The O.C., 2003-2007
One Tree Hill, 2003-Present
Party of Five, 1994-2000
Popular, 1999-2001
Prison Break, 2005-2009
Psych, 2006-Present
Quantum Leap, 1989-1993
Red Dwarf, 1988-1999
Reno 911!, 2003-2009
Robot Chicken, 2005-Present
Roswell, 1999-2002
seaQuest DSV, 1993-1996
Sliders, 1995-1999
Smallville, 2001-Present
Space: Above and Beyond, 1995-1996
South Park, 1997-Present
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1999-2005
Star Trek: Voyager, 1995-2001
Star Trek: Enterprise, 2001-2005
Supernatural, 2005-Present
Terriers, 2010
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 2008-2009
The Thick of It, 2005-Present
Tru Calling, 2003-2005
True Blood, 2008-Present
Twin Peaks, 1990-1991
Weeds, 2005-Present
The West Wing, 1999-2006
The Wire, 2005-2009
Wonderfalls, 2004
Xena: Warrior Princess, 1995-2001

New Shows of Which I Will Be Partaking

TBD

*Don’t judge me. I’m warning you. I’ll come punch you in the babymaker, wherever you are, because I am a delicate flower and it’s rude to make fun of those.
**No reality show or non prime-time animation was included on this list.
***This list has been made possible by the fact that TV.com has every TV show ever aired in its archives, and the fact that I went through every single one****.
****Guess how long***** that took me?
*****You don’t want to know.