This is Denise. She is my one year old desert tortoise. I named her after my aunt who isn’t really my aunt but who is my godfather (it’s complicated). Denise was a gift from a friend. She wanted her to have a more permanent home, and I told her I’d take her in and she could live in my mom’s backyard, which is plenty big enough to hold a slow-moving, slow-growing tortoise. The funny part about this story is I still haven’t told my mom she will be getting a tortoise some time in the coming months. I think what’s going to happen is I’m just going to show up at her house and be like, hey, mom, I have this tortoise for you. Isn’t she cute? That’ll work, right?
It’s not like she’s hard to take care of. She poops about once a day and it’s really small, and all I have to do is make sure her heating lamp is on, and that she has fresh food and water. She moves only slightly faster than a snail. Apparently I also have to hibernate her this winter, which involves sticking her in a cardboard box and putting her under my bed. I’m not making this up. The other other best part about this story is that tortoises live about 150 years, and never stop growing. Denise is going to be alive and kicking long after I am, even thought right now she is so tiny she can fit in the palm of my hand.
Everybody say “Hi!”