Having the Olympics on the past three weeks has been nice, and not only because you get to watch ridiculously good looking and talented people doing unnatural things with their bodies (also: curling), but because almost nothing else is on TV. That may seem like something I would never say because of the ridiculous amounts of TV I watch on a regular basis, both new and old, but it’s true. It was a relief not to have to worry about juggling schoolwork, teaching, actual work, and various DVD rewatches with the overabundance of fresh television (to quote the CW) that I consume on a weekly basis.
Every Sunday I visit TV.com and Wikipedia to make sure I’m not going to miss any TV during the week (DVRs are not to be trusted) and to get episode names, and then I make a little virtual Post-It with my Mac and list out all the shows I plan on watching that week. After I’ve watched each show, I delete it from the list. That’s my routine. But the thing about this routine is that if there’s a week when all my shows are on at the same time, it is literally impossible for me to watch them all, so what ends up happening is that I spend all weekend and sometimes the next weekend catching up, by which time I’ve missed more shows that I have to catch up on. It’s a never-ending cycle. If all my shows are on at the same time, which they will be come April, this is what my week in television looks like:
MONDAY
7:00 PM — Chuck, House
8:00 PM — Life Unexpected, How I Met Your Mother
8:30 PM — The Big Bang Theory
9:00 PM — Castle
TUESDAY
7:00 PM — American Idol, The Biggest Loser, V
8:00 PM — Lost, Parenthood
9:00 PM — The Good Wife
WEDNESDAY
7:00 PM — American Idol
8:00 PM — Glee, Modern Family
THURSDAY
7:00 PM — Bones, Community
7:30 PM — Parks and Recreation
8:00 PM — The Office, Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy
8:30 PM — 30 Rock
9:00 PM — Private Practice
FRIDAY
7:00 PM — Party Down, Caprica
8:00 PM — Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Stargate Universe
In case you didn’t feel like counting, that’s twenty-five TV shows. (And that’s on top of Star Trek: The Original Series and Star Trek: The Next Generation, which I’m watching on DVD; on top of Mad Men, season three of which is saved on my DVR; on top of The Golden Girls and Farscape, which I’m re-watching on DVD; and not to mention the occasional mini-DVD marathons I’ll have with Bones or Stargate Atlantis or whatever show, just because I feel like it. Wow, writing it down like that . . . Is there something wrong with me? Is this normal?) I don’t want you to think I’m complaining about this, because that would just be unbelievably stupid. It’s not like this is a real hardship in life, watching too much TV. But I would like to register a thought with the universe, in case someone who matters is paying attention: I should really be getting paid for this shit. I mean, I’m doing all this work. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
That’s a heavy duty list you got there. I only watch 3 of the shows live.
P.S. Have I told you how much I LOVE curling?!
Let’s see if I can guess: Big Bang Theory, Glee, and The Office. Am I close?
1 out of 3. I watch BBT and Office when they come out on DVD.
Totally love curling too. But I realized that watching a whole match is a wee much for me. Gotta take a break. :)
You really should be getting paid. You are my favorite person to talk to about TV. (And Schilbo because we have the same feelings.)
Do you know how I can get paid? Anyway, at least I’m good for something. I guess.
Me three. And you are immensely qualified, Ashley. Anyone know where we can hook this girl up with a job? ‘cuz I’d pay to read you.
I don’t know if you realized this or not, but Glee is on Tuesdays when it comes back in April, competing with LOST. -cries in corner-
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, I’m pissed. *And* I have class in the evening, so I can’t watch either live. >.<
That’s pretty much what I’ve been saying.
Which part? The money thing? Do you wanna pay me?
I know I say this every time but HOLY SHIT. Are you for real going to watch Idol? I thought you didn’t watch Idol? Also, I argue that Idol and Biggest Loser at the same time are IMPOSSIBLE. Always choose Ryan Seacrest.
Yes, I am watching Idol this season. I wanted to watch it as an experiment. I’ve never watched a whole season before, even back when it started during the year of Kelly Clarkson, I only checked in about halfway through. It’s been . . . interesting. And yeah, I haven’t really watched Biggest Loser since Idol premiered.
Oh man, I’m so excited! I love it for inexplainable reasons. Also, Jacob’s recaps are my very favoritest of his and also Richard Lawson on Gawker writes the most brilliant things. Idol season is my favorite season of the year. The best is yet to come, everything before last week was just meh. Now the voting has begun! I could talk about this forever!
I love Jacob’s Idol recaps, too, but my favorites of his are the Farscape ones because he gets really goofy.
I actually haven’t voted yet, because I rarely ever watch it live. I work on Tuesday nights and Wednesday I’m usually catching up on Tuesday. It is gross.
I never vote (because I’m lazy) but I love dialidol and voting analysis. I’m usually playing catch up too. I mean, watching Idol live is probably the most painful experience in existence.
Yeah, I definitely hit skip on the old DVR during some of the boy’s performances last week. Shudder.
Haha there is nothing wrong with you! I watch just as many shows. I think we should win an award or something.
I’m so glad I’m not alone.
I watch most of those shows. I probably watch an equivalent number, but some of mine are different. I don’t have cable or a DVR. I have hulu and itunes and DVDs and instant Netflix (and some supplemental downloading if necessary). Only once in a while am I home in time to watch anything while it’s actually on TV. I am NEVER caught up. Plus, I’m watching Farscape and Season 4 of Dexter. I had a marathon of season 3 of Mad Men and it put me even more behind on everything.
The only way it works is that I don’t watch competition/reality shows that require timely viewing. Those would never work for me.
I’m kind of ok with my system. I don’t know what I would do if I actually got caught up on everything. Possibly, I would just keel over at that point.
I love instant Netflix. Love love love. It’s the only way I can watch Party Down without being molested by Starz for $20 extra a month.
i love that you used a Gilmore Girls quote “oy with the poodles already.” i miss that show! Glad i have it on dvd!
My list is not quite as extensive (with a few substitutes and missing shows), but it pretty intense. Need to figure this out before med school… :(
This is amazing in an absurd sort of way.
You do need help, though. Totally.
This is very helpful for DVRing purposes. Thank you.