The reason I’m wondering this is because it happened to me today, and I want to make sure that I’m not any more of a freak than I already thought I was. I mean, that’s what the internet was made for, right? To find others like you, so as to know you’re not as hopeless as you once thought you were. It’s reassuring and life-affirming. Also, for porn.
Today I went to the doctor because for the past two days I have woken up with the worst headache ever, and then every time I’ve sneezed or coughed (which is still a lot), my head has exploded. I’d found that by holding my head really hard and pushing when I felt a sneeze or cough coming on, some of the pain wasn’t as bad, but then my left eyeball fell out, so I went to the doctor. Turns out I have a sinus infection, but meanwhile they made me wear a mask and I had to wait for an hour and a half and fill out three forms. I hate filling out forms.
By the time I got in to see the doctor, and after a cranky nurse took my blood pressure with the scary blood pressure cuff, in comes Dr. Beautiful. He was pretty, right from the start. With his light red hair and his beautifully pale skin, but then he started touching me (lymph nodes, don’t get excited), and I didn’t want him to stop. He had soft hands, and I was in a vulnerable emotional state. In that moment I was thinking three things: 1) Sooofffttttt, 2) I need a fucking boyfriend, and 3) Maybe I should be seeing a therapist.
So tell me the truth: never happened to you? Am I alone in this? Am I one of those people who needs to schedule in human contact? I am probably am, aren’t I? Shit.