don’t touch my pants

Magic Pants. Pants of Magic.

The Sisterhood of the DON’T TOUCH MY PANTS!

It has long been a philosophy of mine that life would be better for everyone if we didn’t have to wear pants.

I mean, pants are nice and all, in that they look nice. You don’t look like a bum when you’re wearing them, and sometimes they make your bum look nice. Sometimes pants are also nice because of shoes. It’s hard to find a nice pair of boots that go with bunny rabbits and flannel. Sneakers just look dumb with pajamas and sweats, plus you end up standing all over the pants and ruining them. But if I’m being honest, none of that would really matter if I thought no one in my life would judge me for wearing pajamas all the time. If it was okay to wear pajamas while teaching, I would.

But now. BUT NOW.

None of that matters anymore. I have discovered THE BEST PANTS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. They look like real pants, but they are not. They are pajama/sweats in disguise. They are MAGICAL PANTS. I can wear them with real shoes, they make my bum look nice, and no one will mock me for wearing them between the hours of 10 AM and 10 PM. I should be chafing and squeezing and respectable, but these magical pants only provide the illusion of respectability. Old Navy Jersey lined Cargo pants, $34.99. Never be chafed again.

Everybody go out and buy these pants right now. Trust me. All your dreams will come true.

8 Responses

  1. *sigh* I’ve seriously been looking for pants for a while and you got my hopes up… but these are Women’s Pants!

    What’s a man to do? Is there no brotherhood of pants?

  2. Damn, Ashley, you posted about pants and I’m only now reading it? What’s wrong with me! (I’m behind in my blog reading.)

    I must get me some of those pants. I need magic pants.

    (Funny thing–I’ve had in mind to write a kids’ book involving magic pants. I hadn’t realized that such pants could be found at Old Navy, though.)

  3. Pingback: This Week in Pants « collecting tokens

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